It is easy to go the science fiction route.
Sleek black casing, robotic movement, refracted red sensor light. It should immediately evoke Hal 9000 or Batman’s Brother Eye. This is exactly the kind of voyeuristic technology that has fueled dystopic paranoia for decades, from Nineteen Eighty-Four to Skynet.
But when I look at the Kinect, all I can think of is the burning eye of Sauron.
My story began on a summer’s day while walking with Charles “Japanese Dude Girl” Moran. We talked about the Xbox 360s and the dreaded Red Ring of Death. At the time, it was supposedly based on an obvious design flaw, called an XClamp, which we heard could easily be fixed by the appliqué of 3 dollars worth of screws and washers. At the time, it seemed fool proof. We ordered pre-made repair kits and some broken units.
Before I get started, let me clarify what the Red Ring is. Even though you’ve heard the term Red Ring of Death, it’s actually an umbrella term for a coded numerical language based on a sequential pattern of red lights that appear as you press the sync button and eject button four times. The series can then be deciphered, for example: 4 lights 1 light 4 lights 2 lights translates to error code 0102, a general hardware failure. And there are thousands more errors like this, all pre-programmed. (more…)
June 28, 1982 was a pivotal day in my childhood, though I didn’t know it at the time. That night, at Madison Square Garden (a mere 26 miles from my home), Bob Backlund defended his WWF World Heavyweight Title against Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka in a steel cage match. It was the first wrestling match I ever saw, thanks to MSG Network airing WWF cards and my neighbors down the block (who were already wrestling fans) owning a VCR. When Backlund, faced with the potentially lethal Superfly Splash from the top of what Vince McMahon said was a 20 foot high cage (more like 10 feet at most, but I was 9 and couldn’t fathom Mr. McMahon exaggerating), rolled out of the way at the last second, I was hooked. For nearly 22 years after that, I watched as much wrestling as I could. (more…)
Unfortunately, the story of Alan Wake doesn’t shine, but if you enjoy spooky, straight forward and repetitive third person combat…Eh, just go play Splinter Cell.
No, not carbon monoxide, Sam Fisher! I could whine about how the story in Splinter Cell: Conviction is baffling or how Michael Ironsides voice acting sounds a little sloshed, but what really matters is the fact that Sam Fisher makes stepping out of the shadows to strangle soldiers fun again.
