Unwinnable

There’s a pervading notion that people who spend a good part of their day peering into the tiny screen of their mobile phone are somehow missing the glorious moments of life as it whirls on around them. Those who hold that opinion must live in a really nice place because when I’m standing around in the Target Starbucks waiting for my soy latte or dining at Red Robin, one of the finer establishments in Apple Valley, California, I can honestly say that there is nothing miraculous, beautiful, enlightening or even remotely lovely happening around me. In fact, that magical little device I keep in my pocket is a window to a world where despair and banality is slightly less all-consuming. It is an escape hatch out of the bland purgatory of suburbia to someplace, anyplace else. If I didn’t have my wife (and forthcoming son) in my life I’d figure out a way to cram my head into that screen and climb out the other side. (more…)

Exactly six years ago I bought a Nintendo Wii – came home from Toys “R” Us, plugged it in. (The box is still there on the floor of my girlhood bedroom, right where I left it in another November.)

“Can you imagine, Al?” my mother asked my father. “In our lifetime?” She was standing around marveling as I – ahem – went bowling.

Then I saw the Wii’s “pacemaker” warning and now I was pushing my adoptive dad out of the room. “Out, out!” I commanded him. I was not going to be the one to murder my father, thank you. (more…)

The following is the latest in a series of journal entries chronicling the author’s descent into next-gen gaming degeneracy and assorted geekery – from getting his first television in years to trying to figure out why the @$@$&@@ you need two goddamn directional pads just to walk down an effing hallway.

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The following is the latest in a series of journal entries chronicling the author’s descent into next-gen gaming degeneracy – from getting his first television in years to trying to figure out why the @$@”$)@ you need two goddamn directional pads just to walk down a fucking hallway. (more…)

The following is the latest in a series of journal entries chronicling the author’s descent into next-gen gaming degeneracy – from getting his first television in years to trying to figure out why the @$@‚$)@ you need two goddamn directional pads just to walk down a fucking hallway.

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As much as I love to complain, I’ve gotta say I’d be hard-pressed to come up with many negatives about this Rookie of the Year experiment.

But perhaps there is one downside, one dark, dusty, cobwebby corner of my indoctrination into the hi-def world of next-gen gaming: I now dislike – nay, despise – my Wii. (more…)

I don’t think anyone has watched me play more videogames than my dog, Max, who was put down yesterday morning after a pretty awesome life.  (more…)

Mario is in a yet another brilliant videogame. This time it is Super Mario Galaxy 2.

There is a bar somewhere (probably Los Angeles) and right now Sonic the Hedgehog, Bonk, Pac-Man and Crash Bandicoot are really drunk despite the hour, slurring and ranting about that damned plumber and his dopey looking dinosaur.

But they’re wrong. Mario Galaxy 2 is a fantastic game and you can learn why in my Daily News review.

Now, if they were talking about Mario’s ventures into TV and movies, that’d be another story entirely…