Here’s the scenario:
Panic strikes you as the last flavored bits of cool ranch dust float from the reflective confines of the Dorito’s gulag into that Sarlacc Pit you call a mouth – you know, the thing you wheeze out of. The rumbling beneath the buttery, soft veal rolls of your belly indicate that it is indeed time to feed. But alas, being fresh out of chippy goodness, Mom being at bingo, Father long dead from filial shame and what seems an infinitely long trek up the basement stairs, the frightening revelation of having to cook for yourself starts to creep into the beta-wave depleted recesses of your brain.
But you hunger for something more than the usual Hot Pocket or frozen slab of Elios. You need something special that is worthy of the exhausting 10 stair climb into the horrifying realm of windows and natural light.
Now, as with all quests – be it using deodorant or talking to the opposite sex – there will be elements of the unknown that will challenge and vex even the most stalwart of Halo and Call of Duty players. For in this arena you are the noob. (more…)