February 15th, 2011 | By: Kevin J. Raineri
I have to be honest: I am a love guru, just ask my wife. On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t. Either way, for whatever reason, she married me. Anyway, being the mensch that I am, I want to impart some lessons I learned on a particular date (not with my wife) I had seven years ago that will forever be burned in my mind.
An Accidental Meeting
Frantically grocery shopping for an upcoming party, I was zooming up and down the aisles like a drunk mother driving a van full of orphans towards happy hour. In my irresponsible haste, I crashed my cart into the cart of one of the most beautiful women you could imagine. I was taken back by the crash, her beauty and the box of tampons in her hand. She looked at me with an umbrage of embarrassment and a touch of whimsy as I attempted my recovery: “Shh… please don’t report this accident. This would be my third strike and I’ll lose my license.”
She looked at me plainly, not amused. Our eyes met in an uncomfortable yet powerful stare. In my typical fashion, I continued: “My mom uses the same kind,” pointing at the tampons in her hand. As soon as I had said it, I realized how ridiculous and uneasy it was. “I’ll just go.”
Turning my cart around and getting out of the aisle as fast as possible, I was filled with regret for a lost opportunity. (more…)