Unwinnable

I have given myself over to the world of small, quick, easy-to-learn games. I have indulged myself in the easily digestible world of agitated birds, bouncing balls, endless runners and esoteric puzzles. These games have five-star ratings on the app store for a reason. They are expertly designed for their medium: small, tight, quick experiences that evaporate with a click of the sleep button.

It’s about time I admitted this: they are all very fun, but they mean nothing to me. Not right now. Not anymore. (more…)

My life is often dominated by lonely activities. Every weekday morning, I go to an office where I am by myself most of the day. When I go home, I often spend my time writing and editing alone. I eat alone and watch Netflix or Hulu to unwind. For fun, I play videogames, usually alone. (more…)

I finished the third episode of The Walking Dead with a slightly disturbing sensation: a real affection for the characters in the game, including the protagonist, Lee and especially his near-surrogate daughter, Clementine. The others were pretty close to my heart too, a varied and fleshed-out crew of randoms who became a part of this group out of necessity. As horrific things happen to each one of them, I watch with genuine empathy, and I worry for them. But these are videogame people.
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To my former loves,

Forgive me for abandoning you. I have no real excuse, but I can explain.

In the early days of iPhone games, I was convinced I could never love one like you. You required a kind of finesse that I had no desire to give. I wanted buttons – you required touch. I played Angry Birds in those days, because I needed something to pass the time. But my heart was not truly given to Angry Birds.

In those days my heart belonged to my consoles. I was in awe of Red Dead Redemption – I’ll never forget the way that game challenged my cynical assumptions with one moment while crossing over to Mexico, watching the sun set and listening to an acoustic ballad so melancholy. I knew in that moment that this was a game I would never forget. I played Burnout Paradise for a year straight, and spent my time playing online with nice people whom I didn’t know. I marveled over BioShock and wept when I finished BioShock 2. (more…)

I have a habit of second-guessing myself. This can work as a blessing and a curse: I do very little without thinking through the pros and cons, which I suppose results in fewer mistakes made overall. Then again, it also means I do very little. I can spend days agonizing over ideas only to find that I haven’t taken action after a month of mulling things over. I took deliberate steps to remedy this problem recently, but it seems that the last bastion of my own insecurity lies within time spent writing. (more…)

While Unwinnable was having its vacation theme week, I was on actual vacation, half of which I spent in Washington, D.C., fitfully attempting to visit every major landmark and museum. Naturally, I left the city with a list of things I wanted to see but never got around to, but one thing that I was determined to see was a particular exhibit in the Smithsonian American Art Museum: The Art of Video Games. I am that guy who writes about videogames and I simply can’t pass up the chance to see my preferred medium presented in a positive light in one of the more esteemed venues for what we call “art.” (more…)

When the asynchronous revolution came, I was the first on board. Though it was, admittedly, more of a trickle than a revolution, I bought in completely to the idea of a multiplayer game that could be played at my own convenience. It didn’t need an appointment or my undivided attention; it just required a few seconds of my day. The trend was relegated to my Xbox at first – I would race against my friend’s times in Burnout: Paradise. I found my play-time delightfully redirected from racing random online enemies to a constant competition against the few friends of mine that owned the game.

Then came Words with Friends, a smartly inevitable idea that made Scrabble something we could play with whomever we wanted – kind of like chess by mail, except that it was instantly delivered, took a minimal amount of effort to participate in – and wasn’t chess. (more…)