Unwinnable

Thanks, Mom

Thanks, Mom.

There’s a long list of writers, directors, artists and musicians who have influenced me. Recently I wrote about how the science fiction author Douglas Adams helped lead me down the left hand path towards atheism. But I would have never read Adams or countless others if not for one woman. My mother had more to do with me becoming the person I am today than any teacher ever did. And she did it behind the wheel of a faded fire-engine red Ford Fairmont station wagon. (more…)

At the bar tonight, I stared at my phone in disbelief. Clash of the Titans, it told me, hit theaters in 1981. That meant the world had been without a new Ray Harryhausen movie for over 30 years. Now that he is gone, this seemed – seems – a travesty. (more…)

Memories of Memories

Two months ago, a glowy teaser trailer for Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon dropped and it felt like something I’ve already seen a million times before. (Know that those impressions are coming from someone born two years too late to actually experience the nostalgia being marketed here.)

Pop culture will never forget the ’80s. Cyclical waves of the excessive period come and go every few years, and right now we’re in the midst of a cynical and dark barrage of neo-’80s fluff that’s only going to lead to more stubborn remembering in the future. (more…)

I am trying to be nonchalant, but I know that deep down I am just a mook with a notepad. So I smoke my American Spirit and try not to step in anything gross. We’re in the back alley behind a warehouse in Chatsworth, California. Crudely painted flats, the whitened bones of low-budget film shoots, lean haphazardly against the building. The crumbling asphalt is littered with cigarette butts. A greasy penis pump, half-full with rainwater and god knows what else, lies scattered with empty beer bottles. I don’t know anybody here, really. And deep down I am glad for that. (more…)

On April 4, 2013, film critic Roger Ebert passed away after a long battle with cancer. His career as a critic spanned over forty years and three mediums – in print in the Chicago Sun-Times, on television with Siskel and Ebert at the Movies and on the internet with both his blog and his endlessly entertaining Twitter account. He edified a massive audience in his time and inspired countless writers to try their hand at criticism. In fact, there is no critic in the world today who had as far a reach and as much esteem as Roger Ebert. His loss is a terrible one. (more…)

Dollar Store Conan

Whenever I’m in a dollar store one of my favorite things to do is look for the toys, specifically action figures. More often than not comedy gold can be found In the form of cheap knock-off figures based on Spider-Man, Lord of the Rings, Transformers, Robocop or even generic G.I Joe knock-offs with names like “Action Fighting Man”, the packaging promising such exciting things as “Aplomb!” and “Service!”.

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The Knife Mod

1993 was a year of ambitious beginnings. The Trans-Siberian Orchestra was founded and began rocking Christmas. In What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Leonardo DiCaprio made his debut in a major big-screen role. Square properly introduced the Mana series to U.S audiences with Secret of Mana. And I attempted to create my first videogame.
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