I grew up going to Catholic school and attending a Catholic church. Obviously, I got bombarded by a lot of Satan talk, but I was never able to take any of it seriously. I mean, the idea that there is an actual place like hell, where people are being boiled in pots of oil and skewered on pitchforks for eternity? That’s so much effort. How do the demons sustain their enthusiasm to torture for all time? Do they get dental insurance? And Satan himself always came across as more needy than terrifying. Oh, I need your soul. Reject God and be my BFF. Even as a child, I remember thinking, well, this is a bunch of bullshit (I always cursed in my mind as a child because my mother has a potty mouth). (more…)

If you haven’t watched the trailer for the upcoming Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, then do yourself a favor and check it out. Not only does it feature Nicholas Cage in crazy mode (as opposed to his more typical “jobbing mode”), but it also shows a CG Ghost Rider pissing fire after being asked by a kid if he can do so. It’s from the guys who brought us the Crank movies (where Jason Statham has sex to survive), so I’m sure that ridiculousness is only the tip of the iceberg. (more…)

Yes, that’s me on Page 39 of today’s New York Post.

I’m the one posing with a portrait of the queen in an old-fashioned London telephone booth that doubles as the entrance to a West Village cafe called Tea & Sympathy. In another shot, I’m holding a teapot with the Union Jack painted on it, but the Post didn’t use that one.

Why am I on Page 39 of today’s New York Post? Because I am, apparently, a ‘Downton’ Dude – and, clearly, I am not afraid to say it. (more…)

Like robots, ninjas, heroes and villains? Oh, and girls? Then get ready, because the Vixens are back! (more…)

It’s time for the Academy to take the next step in evolution.

On Tuesday, the results of voting by the more than 5,700 movie industry insiders who make up the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will be in. There will be five nominees for the Best Supporting Actor Oscar, and by all accounts Andy Serkis will not be among them for his critically lauded turn in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Stupid humans. (more…)

I have this fantasy that someday they’ll be able to put my brain in a jar. That way, when my body dies, they can save my grey matter and put it in some kind of robot or clone body and I’ll be able to live forever. Alternately, I’m okay with them copying all the data on my brain and installing me onto a hard drive so I can live for eternity in a simulation where I’m rich, ripped and can shoot lasers out of my eyes.

The thing that terrifies me about either not-so-likely scenario is the possibility that my consciousness will fall into the wrong hands. I don’t believe in Satan, but I can imagine that being a caged brain in a zoo run by sadists or, even worse, incompetents, could be a lot like Hell. Lately, some videogames have reminded me of this special kind of purgatory and I plan to tell you about them. But first we have to talk about Natalie Wood’s last film and the time I ate too many pot brownies. (more…)

For the most part, 2011 felt like a B-side at the multiplex. Ticket sales were down compared to last year and there isn’t a potential Academy Award favorite that could hold a candle to either The King’s Speech or The Social Network. The superheroes that leaped onto the screen in a single bound – no offense to fans of Green Lantern and Thor – were more like sidekicks compared to the likes of Batman and Spider-Man. The year looks even worse when compared to next year, with Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises, Marvel’s The Avengers, Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, the next James Bond, a return to Middle Earth and much more on the horizon. (more…)