Unmixable: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

Remember when Elvis’s hip shake was the most scandalous thing about music? Us neither. As soon as music could be recorded and reproduced, it pushed up against the polite boundaries of society. For over 130 years, music has used its unique ability to shock in order to question authority (“Fuck the Police“), religion (“Dear God“) and politics (“Maggie“), but no other subject has had so many taboos shattered by song than sex. So, for Sex Week, we’ve collected the sexiest, dirtiest, perviest songs we could find and mixed them together into two of the naughtiest hours of pounding drums, penetrating guitars and moaning vocals that your ears will ever hear.  

It should go without saying that this is very, very NSFW.

Smut

“Cake and Sodomy” – Marilyn Manson

“Bump and Grind” – Plasmatics

“I Kill Everything I Fuck” – GG Allin

“He’s a Whore” – Big Black

“Pervert” – Descendents

“Whip in my Valise” – Adam and the Ants

Self Control

“Can Your Pussy Do the Dog?” – The Cramps

“Sex Drive” – The Embarrassment

“Mason” – Chomsky

“(You Make Me) Rock Hard” – KISS

“Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?” – Shania Twain

“I Touch Myself” – Genitorturers

“Girl” – The Heavy

“I’m Supposed To Have Sex With You” – Tonio K.

The Pill

“James Brown – The Payback Mix”  – Coldcut

“Set The Controls for the Heart of the Pelvis” – Barry Adamson

“No Pussy Blues” – Grinderman

“Tainted Love” – Coil

“Je T’aime…Moi non-plus” – Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg

“Shame and Scandal” – Peter Tosh

“Busting my Cherry” – High Society Magazine December 1982

“Balls in Your Mouth” – Kid Rock

“Get Down Make Love” – Nine Inch Nails

“Who’s Fucking Tonight”- DJ Assault

“Rough Sex’ – Lords Of Acid

“French Kiss” – Lil Louis

Deviants 

“Evil Dick” – Body Count

“Too Drunk Too Fuck” – Dead Kennedys

“Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?” – Clint Ruin & Lydia Lunch

“Sex is Violent” – Jane’s Addiction & Diamanda Galas

“Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” – Revolting Cocks

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I am a pervert. I am honest with myself about it, with others and, most importantly, with my wife. Don’t kid yourself – you got here from fucking. I like fucking and I like watching fucking. I like fucking so much I am having a kid. I don’t want to be stereotyped, I shouldn’t be classified.

Growing up, my uncle Bob had a great calendar in the computer room of his house, I think it was from Hawaii. Each month featured a picture of a different topless girl. The picture was risque, but certainly not vulgar. They always looked happy to be there. I didn’t understand it at first, but I knew I liked it. Be honest with yourself.

I also love the Descendents.

- Chuck Moran

When I first fell down the bottomless pit of independent music, I wasn’t having sex. Going to a nightclub, hiding in the dark and watching some band vent its emotional frustrations – well, golly, THAT was comforting, especially compared to attempting to talk to, or empathize with, that other gender that I’d been fearing my whole socially awkward childhood. So, you know, Little Richard and Chuck Berry and all these other dick-swingin’ dudes, they didn’t do it for me.

Rock ‘n Roll is a truly American art form, but take it one higher by adding absence of – or taboos around – sexuality to really make it ‘Murrican. Only our country nails that perilous push-pull between abundant sexual conversation and pronounced cultural shame, and “Mason,” by the Dallas band Chomsky, speaks to that unease in catchy fashion. Plenty of other bands have broached the feeling, as well, but this was a band full of hopeless dorks before bands full of hopeless dorks became the indie norm (and they broke up too soon to claim on that), which I think makes them the right group to shout the phrase, “You caught me, I’m a masturbator!”

- Sam Machkovech

Oh, Paul Stanley, you’re so subtle…wait, “(You Make Me) Rock Hard” was co-written by Diane Warren? “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” Diane Warren? Now I’m confused…

- Don Becker

Wait! Don’t turn off the mix! “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?” is definitely about sex. 90’s sex. Ew. Growing up in a conservative family, Shania Twain was one of the first musician sex symbols I knew. For those who don’t remember the country music scene in 1995 (for shame), Twain’s midriff was as scandalous for country music as Madonna’s cones were for pop.

“Whose Bed,” aside from being one of those classic “list things and people I’m upset about” twangers, was Twain’s first hit in America (or at least parts of it). It was also one of the last times that a country musician would approach sexuality with even a modicum of candor. Here, I would site “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”, among others, as the unholy inheritor of Twain’s bare-armed legacy. Country music fans sure have a lot to not be proud of.

- Dan Crabtree

Ah, the beautiful girl who walks past your house, who you will never, ever actually talk to. Kelvin Swaby of The Heavy talks a good game and the song sizzles, but it is only a momentary summer fantasy. If you listen closely, he’s not talking to the girl in the jeans that look mean as fuck at all. He’s still in the house, giving his romantic pitch to the buddy that happened to be looking out the window with him. By the time he get’s out side, she’ll be long gone, turned the corner, and Kelvin doesn’t have to worry about being shot down.

Dirty Soul, indeed.

- Stu Horvath

Originally recorded as a duet between Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot in 1967, the release of the single for “Je T’aime…Moi Non Plus” was halted by Bardot’s husband, Gunter Sachs, due to the subject matter and the possibility that Bardot cheated on him with Gainsbourg. The first officially released recording of this song was released as a duet with Gainsbourg’s lover Jane Birkin in 1969. In English, it translates to “I love you…me neither.” The simulated sex sounds of sighing and groaning on the track got the single banned in most radio markets, and the subject matter of sex without love was controversial with critics at the time.

Nonetheless, the song managed to sell 4 million copies by 1986 and upon re-release in that year it became the first charted number one banned single in the UK. It’s a lovely, catchy tune that has been covered numerous times over the years in both serious and comedic versions, by artists as diverse as Donna Summer to The Pet Shop Boys to comedic British reggae artist Judge Dread.

- Michael Edwards

One of the best times I had working in a pub kitchen involved everybody on the line stopping what they were doing to shout “Everybody Fuuuuck!” and then pelvis thrusting for about two minutes. Sex doesn’t always have to be serious. Songs like “Who’s Fucking Tonight,” simple as they may be, help us take the act of copulation a bit more lightly and have a little more fun with it.

- Michael Rousseau

Since I make the mixes, I love just about everything on them. With so many good selections, like Nine Inch Nails’ electronically-charged version of Queen’s “Get Down Make Love” or Adam Ant’s S&M anthem “Whip In My Valise,” it was hard to choose just one to talk about, but I wanted something sleazy and RevCo always delivers on that. Their cover of Rod Stewarts’ raunchy leather-clad hit propels the song to new lows. Besides the trashy horns interwoven between dirty sounding guitars, Chris Connelly delivers porn star quality vocals.

- Ken Lucas

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Charles Francis Moran VI, Dan Crabtree, Don Becker, Electronic Broadcast, Kenneth J. Lucas, Michael Edwards, Michael Rousseau, Mix Tape, Music, Sam Machkovech, Stu Horvath, Unmixable
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